LOST: The McCain Aircraft Crash Fanstasy

Crossposted at Dailykos.com

This was inspired by a comment by darthstar on a diary by Nex Horus. Here is the scenario: the campaign plane went down, with no loss of life nor serious injury, in a remote part of the lower 48, maybe, say Wyoming.

This is purely fantasy, but I attempt to include talking points that the Republicans use at every opportunity. For your pleasure, or distaste, here is the script just after McCain, Palin, Cindy, Todd, Hannity, Limbaugh, O’Reilly plus a neutral pilot climb out of the wreck.

O’Reilly: What happened? The damned liberal, socialist, communist, luffa hating bastards shot us down!

Pilot: No, actually we ran out of gas. Your group overestimated how far we could go with limited resources.

Palin: Are the clothes OK? I am glad that I left my kids back in Alaska on their own. At least they are not here in the wilderness! They know to be abstinent! And there is moose in the freezer!

A cold wind blows over their setting….

McCain: My friends, does anyone know how to start a fire? I have tried to start a fire for a long time, and just can not seem to do it. A fire is what we need here for the next several days, until we are rescued by a socialist rescue party.

Todd: Dude!

Limbaugh (away from the others, under his breath): thirty-six, thirty-seven, thirty-eight, Damn! I dropped one in the snow! Thirty-nine, well, if we get rescued before tomorrow night, it will be OK.

Cindy: John, we have people to turn up the thermostats in our houses. Just call one of them to make it warmer!

Todd: Dude!

Hannity: You people just do not get it! Keith Olbermann put us here, and he is not an American. He is the reason that we are getting cold.

Pilot: We need to get some shelter. We need blankets. I suggest that we all get back in the plane and cover up with any cloth that we can find.

Sarah: NOT MY CLOTHES! Those are mine, mine, mine! No one can even see them until I am ready, not to mention to have them keep your inferior asses warm. Todd, find us a moose!

Should I keep going?

Warmest regards,

Doc

Tags: Dailykos.com, Hannity, Humor, Limbaugh, McCain, O'Reilly, Palin, Satire, Todd