7:43 am: This is the first Saturday of my entire life as a homeowner not completely dominated by the fruitcakes who’ve run the country for the past 8 years. I drain my first pot of coffee and settle in to prepare my list.
7:48 am: Some possibilities for the day: Replace sump pump. Demo second bathroom. Pull up carpeting in future sunroom. Install fan in bathroom. Insulate attic. Power wash front of house. Caulk around front door. Paint outside trim. Clean gutters. Prime hallway and laundry room. Clean out tornado shelter. Turn off outside water valve. Cover vents to crawlspace.
7:53 am: Basking in the satisfaction of completing the task list, I decide on my first chore: making a new pot of coffee to enjoy while watching the DIY network.
28 Comments
Biscuit, if you plan to accomplish all those jobs that you listed, well, you will need something stronger than coffee!
ok, it is 833am and I am dressed. I have had my two cups of coffee, cleaned up a pair of little turds on the upstairs bathroom floor and removed portions of a dead lizard from the dining room floor. Now I am off to feed and water the chickens.
omg, your house sounds like my house!
I usually do not admit it but this is a real animal house. They enjoy life and I get their messes. They are worth it.
They are worth it, aren’t they, the little shits!
8:42 am: I rescue two pairs of undies from the backyard. The pups sulk.
8:43 am: The game plan for today: spend morning working on hallway pulling nails and priming; move outside when it warms up to power wash.
8:45 am: In anticipation of everything I will get done today, I start a new game of 40 Thieves.
9:36 am: Taking advantage of the break between turning a drab addition into a French cottage sitting room and a kitchen demo gone wrong, I race through the house gathering dirty laundry and dump it into the washer.
10:19 am: A dramatic revelation: that beautiful new energy efficient window sitting on the floor in that one closet that I was planning on selling in the garage sale I’ll have next spring is actually a replacement for the original window in the laundry room.
10:21 am: I race through the house checking all the closets to see if there are any more windows or doors hidden away.
11:33 am: I begin work on the most important project of the day: the anti-houndie grrl defense shield.
11:34 am: I run into the kitchen, grab the outdoor faucet cover, and race back into my bedroom with it, slamming the door behind me.
11:35 am: I place the faucet cover into a plastic bin and begin liberal application of Tabasco and cayenne pepper.
11:58 am: Having successfully drenched the outside faucet cover in Tabasco, cayenne and a touch of Sriracha hot sauce, I am feeling confident and successful. I decide to tackle my bravest project of the day: putting the wok bowl of my Breville Gourmet Wok into the dishwasher for the first time ever.
12:46 pm: Heady after my success with the outdoor faucet cover and Breville Gourmet Wok, I tackle finances. I begin by calling the bank to check my balance and discover I have huge amounts of money in there – well, huge for me.
12:48 pm: I check my mortgage to make sure my weekly payments are being pulled out. They are.
12:49 pm: I rip open my electric bill and discover that, by being a cheapskate, I’ve managed to lower it by $140 since the first bill! omg! Further inspiration for insulating the attic!!
12:50 pm: I rip open my water-sewer bill and discover it’s down $10 from last month and cut in half from the first bill. omg! Further inspiration for doing even less laundry than I do now!!!
12:51 pm: I contemplate the possibilities, then remember the reason I have so much money in the bank is because I’ve refused to spent anything beyond the necessities for 5 days now: no menudo, no nothing.
12:52 pm: I resign myself to lentils for dinner, sorely wishing I have some nice lamb shanks to spice them up.
Two oh eight pm and I am ready to go dancing at the Ranch. I really do not feel like going but maybe a little music and a drink will cheer me up. Many daughter problems this week. Sometimes I wish it were just me and the pets. Whoopsie the turtle appears to be sick. I do not know what to do for him. I wonder if he is just old.
omg, your daughter! How goes it??
She wanted money to leave her husband, An old story. It has been going on for more than ten years. I suggested a shelter and not letting him have the power. She will be pissed but I have no money to send and she needs to take control of her life. She is fifty years old and she needs to take charge of the life she wants to lead. They are both abusive and she is bipolar. Very sad but I cannot help her.
Argh. I am sorry. It must be horribly difficult, but you’re doing the right thing.
I just wish she would grow up and realize that she is in charge of her own life. She is a social worker wigh the state of Washington and is so fucked up that I cannot believe it.
Guess I didn’t realize that you didn’t live alone with just critters. Have fun at the Ranch and give yourself time to relax and have fun, sweetie.
Here’s a little info for Whoopsie: http://www.turtlecare.net/health.htm
I do live alone thank god. My daughter is in Orting Washington.
High Noon in the PNW: Advice from an old home repair hand. Caulk the front door and any other place (like around the windows on the front) and let dry BEFORE power washing the front of the house!
GA! This weekend is scrapping off the dirt from the last three months and deep cleaning the entire house. I’ve always wondered why the bathroom couldn’t be cleaned like porta-potties.
I had a cleaning lady who cleaned the bathroom like that. She used buckets of water along with cleanser. Best cleaning lady I had. We used to laugh about how she enjoyed playing in the water.
My sweetie said we are having a “field day”.
Me, “what’s that?”
He, “it’s a Navy term for cleaning top to bottom.”
Me, “Field Day…that doesn’t make sense!”
He, “it’s the military, it doesn’t have to make sense!”
:troll
2:52 pm: It is too &^%% cold to power wash today. I have resorted to tearing up 6 months worth of receipts, thereby clearing out that tiny room which stays so nice and cozy-hot. Tomorrow I will move the computer from the room it is currently in (which is freezing) to the cozy room, and prepare to close this off for the winter — or pay the price in heating bills!!!
Well, I have had a particularly non-productive day. My sister sent me some little munchies to overcome nausea, as well as some different kinds og teas – ginger teas – to try, so of course I had to try one!
Little did I know that not only did the tea reduce my nausea, and the little cookies tasted delicious, the combination of the two were SO relaxing that I promptly went to bed and slept for about three hours!
How’s that for a sluggard’s Saturday? I have GOT to go to the grocery store and the pet food place – we’re almost out of DOG TREATS!!
Oh, noes! Out of dog treats? What will become of the Furry Monster Brigade if they don’t get their treats?
I love ginger tea, and it’s just the thing for easing nausea. Have you tried candied ginger for nausea? You can slip some in your bag and carry it with you for when tea’s not convenient.
Feel better, drchelo!
I love candied ginger, and it is one of the things I regularly get when I visit Whole Foods. I will carry some when I have to be out and about during the Peak Nausea Time.
I did go to the grocery store, and since Whole Foods is in the same area…
I picked up some Ginger Beer, just because I like the strong Ginger taste of Ginger beer, keeping the blander ginger ale for treatment days. Did I mention that I got dog treats? And I found some locally-made southern-style pimento cheese (translation: made with Velveeta Cheese Food product- bad for you, but oh! so comforting!). And I also picked up some beautiful potatoes, because I think that my tummy really wants baked potatoes tonight, now that I have appetite this weekend. And I have to have all the fixings on top of said baked potato, don’t you think? :dots: :puff:
I loooooove pimento cheese! And yes, it is totally bad for you, but soooo good.
Glad you got ginger beer. Maybe some ginger ale, too? My mom always drank it for tummy trouble.
Jean took some photos of me dancing with my friend Steve. I must approve the photos before we post.
You must be logged in to post a comment.