7:11 am: Having armed myself with two large cups of coffee, an episode of Dream House and an episode of Sweat Equity, I’m ready to tackle the world. The plan today: paint the hallway; eliminate all mildew on the driveway; find leather slipcovers for the divan. 7:14 am: In anticipation of an exciting and productive [...]
8:11 am: The discovery that I have so much money because the &^%% mortgage company hasn’t been withdrawing my payments sends me into a tailspin. This discovery has demolished my plans to purchase a chair to sit on while I’m on the computer. 8:14 am: Despite it all, I decide to buck up and soldier [...]
7:43 am: This is the first Saturday of my entire life as a homeowner not completely dominated by the fruitcakes who’ve run the country for the past 8 years. I drain my first pot of coffee and settle in to prepare my list. 7:48 am: Some possibilities for the day: Replace sump pump. Demo second [...]
8:44 am: Having painted a doorway and taped off some trim last night, I can almost smell success. I will finish painting the living room tonight! Once I do, my life will be complete – perfect even. 8:45 am: I race into the kitchen to make breakfast before I begin. 8:58 am: Drat! The Kitchen [...]
8:10 a.m.: By 7 p.m. tomorrow evening, I will have the living room completely painted. I must have it done by then, or there will be certain disaster. I am confident in my ability to get this done. I steel myself for a weekend of painting. 8:15 a.m.: I race to Amazon.com to check my [...]
8:11 am: Having fortified myself with 3 glasses of strong coffee with milk and an hour of HGTV, I determine I am adequately prepared to finish painting the living room by 7 pm tonight. 8:14 am: I suddenly remember that I’m making Seco de carne con tamarindo. I rush to the kitchen to begin cooking. [...]
8:47 a.m.: Today I am determined to finish painting the living room. My efforts of last weekend were foiled by the arrival of unexpected out of town guests and, of course, my new power washer. The time has arrived, however. Winter is upon us, and the plan is to have new doors installed in the [...]
8:30 am: I awake. Not only did I sleep two hours more than I’d planned, but the houndie grrl left me a little present in the large carpeted room. I chastise myself for thinking I could leave the door to that room open for even just a night. 8:40 am: Strong coffee in hand, I [...]
6 am: I awake, refreshed for the first time in weeks. After battling my way through the dogs to the coffee pot, I suffer an inspiration: why not just buy some good brilliant white semi-gloss and dump this^%$$(&(# crapola cheap stuff that is requiring coat after coat after coat after coat? I begin preparations for [...]